MEET THE CREW
Chardonnay grew up on a small dairy farm in a part of the French Alps renowned for its delectable cheese, which, as a teenage girl, she learned to blend into an amazing fondue recipe. She worked at the nearby ski chalet as a sous chef, and on occasion would sing with the house band.
When world-famous recording artists, Kenny Loggins and Jim Messina visited the Alps to assess the apres ski scene and listen to the chalet's band, they stumbled upon Chardonnay's astonishing talents and invited her to come to Santa Monica to prepare her delicious fondue... and maybe even sing some backing tracks on their forthcoming record.
Chardonnay fell deeply in love with the California coast, spending every available moment carousing among the yacht clubs and the nautical elite. Soon, her musical talents caught up with her cooking skills and she formed a band with some like-minded sailors who also happened to share her appreciation for cheese.
A 14th generation Fuzzbottom musician, Marshall hails from a long line of lute playing minstrels. His ancestry can be traced back to 12th century Byzantia where the first Fuzzbottom to pick up a stringed instrument is rumored to have originated. The Fuzzbottom lineage is both gifted and cursed with a rare genetic deformation wherein the children are born with just one extra digit. An eleventh finger. This affliction is sometimes frightful to behold, but serves as a unique advantage, and is perhaps why many Fuzzbottoms have played stringed instruments throughout history.
Marshall lost his 11th finger while pursuing his other favorite past time, sailing. His hand caught in the rigging on a particularly squally evening off the coast of Barbados and when the spinnaker halyard broke loose from the jib, it took his famous finger with it. Nonetheless, he appears to play the guitar effortlessly using only 10 fingers and doesn't let his handicap hinder his smooth rock solos.
Miles was born in a small shire in Vermont and raised by a clan of fourth generation ox herders. As a young boy the screech of his hunting falcon provided the soundscape that encouraged him to play really high notes on the trumpet. "Let's face it. Maynard Ferguson, Doc Severinsen and Miles Davis... those were my real heroes." But Miles soon found himself gravitating towards all things smooth. Quiana silk patterned shirts, blended cocktails, George Benson and Michael McDonald.
In 1978, after realizing it is so much cooler to be on the bottom than on the top, he traded in his mouthpiece and began a lifelong pursuit of laying down 4-string grooves and unlearning the stoic dance moves he had picked up as a child.
Ignacio "NACHO" Wurlitzer
Ignacio redefines smooth. He holds the Guinness book of world records for cleanest shave, even though he often wears a beard.
Orphaned at birth, he was raised near the Galapagos by a rare species of tree monkey. While combing the beach one day, he stumbled upon his first grand piano that had washed ashore with other flotsam and jetsam, and he never looked back.
Once he had received his first product endorsement from Cuervo Gold, he understood his destiny: a dedication to the music that inspires dreams and lays hearts to the wayside. After responding to a "keyboard player wanted" ad in Fine Columbian Monthly, he found his true home among the waves with The Sunset Grooves crew... and now his voyage begins.
RUSTY "RED" SINCLAIR
Raised by Moonshiners in the foothills of the Ozark Mountains, Rusty learned to play the drums by banging on pieces of his parent's copper still and half-empty whiskey barrels. But, as he approached his early teens, he felt the calling of the sea and knew he must leave behind his miserable Missouri roots. So, he hitch-hiked his way West to greet the Pacific Ocean.
He ended up in Cardiff Reef, San Diego and spent several months as a beach bum, hanging with the surfers and sleeping on the sand - but he quickly discovered that his fair skin did not agree at all with the harsh rays of Californian sun. His constantly sunburned complexion earned him the nickname "Red". Though he craved the salty seafarer lifestyle but could not abide much sunshine - naturally, he settled in Seattle. He has been rocking among the yachts ever since.
Bryce Von Sloop
Legend tells of a man so salty - that local livestock would escape their pens and travel for miles to seek him out at the local pub - just to have a lick of his bare arm so that they might satisfy their craving for sodium.
This still doesn't explain how Bryce can play so many damned instruments.
Harry Pockethammer is a founding member of the group. Struck with a bad bout of scurvy, he recently had to set sail for calmer waters.
We hope he will be back in port soon to join us on stage as
an honorary member.
It's true that Giorgio Amore has unlocked the secrets of trans-dimensional time travel. He is currently somewhere in the 26th Century learning to mind-meld with alien races.
We expect he may return later next year with untold wisdom and the uncanny ability to play a third keyboard using only brain waves.